BATTLESHIP

      Director: Peter Berg

                             Writers: Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber

                                  Stars: Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn  Decker and Liam Neeson

 

 

“Sometimes you want a steak, sometimes you want a burger”. I don't know at what point we started comparing summer blockbusters to fast food, but it's a justification that reaches its nadir with Battleship, a movie so cynically manufactured and full oempty calories that it literally feels like it should come in a paper bag with a plastic toy.

Just as fast food chains have spent millions on developing the exact combination of fats and artificial flavors to make you think you're eating actual food, so Universal and Hasbro have joined forces to offer up something that looks and sounds like a real action movie, but passes through the system without leaving anything nourishing in its wake.